Managing relationships at 30 000 feet

Relationships with family, friends and colleagues are a significant part of maintaining psychological wellbeing. Working in aviation, and especially as pilots or cabin crew poses unusual challenges to relationships and can make the people you value seem difficult to engage with. Picture the scene: You’re a longhaul pilot operating on an overnight flight from your home base on a Wednesday. You need to leave home in uniform with a packed suitcase ready for work at 5:00 pm. You and your partner have two primary school age children, one has a swimming lesson after school. Your partner goes to work at 8:00 so you do the school run, plug away at your things to do list, pack for work, get some exercise and aim to get some sleep mid afternoon. By school pick up time, you’ve managed a short nap, collected both children and start getting changed for work. As everyone else sits down to supper you say goodbye and drive to work. While you’re away, you manage two brief calls with your partner and a bedtime video call with your children. You have Thursday from late morning until Friday late afternoon in your hotel with your crew – a tricky amount of time to manage sleep to be rested for flying back. You get home on Saturday morning having been flying most of the night with a short rest in the crew bunk. You want to go to sleep. Your family is excited to see you and want to go out for the day. Situations like this are common challenges for pilots and cabin crew. Flying rosters can disrupt family routines, leisure activities and social networking. Vital for our wellbeing, these aspects of our lives need active management if we are to thrive in aviation roles. Of course, open communication and compromise is always going to be a good starting point. Most airlines will occasionally let you bring a travel companion with you. Taking your partner with you might enhance your ability to share the experience of the reality of time away and show that the “glamour” of a trip away is often surface deep. Practical plans such as when and how to keep in touch (does hotel Wi-Fi always work for video calls?!) can also help. For more detailed information on the challenges of managing relationships at 30 000 feet and skills to enhance your ability to do this, join our membership scheme.